


A Changing of the Mind

by coolscar (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Multi, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/coolscar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both knew that their fondness of each other was beginning to wear thin. </p><p>They just didn't want to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Changing of the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: There is possible smut, self-harm, and alcohol use in this fic. Read at your own discretion.
> 
> \--
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I worked so hard on this fic and I hope you guys enjoy it! This will be a multichapter fic (though I'm not sure how many chapters yet), but I can't assure a halfway decent update schedule! Exams are coming up soon. The central ships are Erisol and Solfef, though other ships are going to be a part of the story also! 
> 
> My tumblr is http://suzannebishop.tumblr.com

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you couldn't be happier.

At least, you think you couldn't.

\--

Eridan sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes and absently retrieving his glasses from his bedside table. Sliding them onto the bridge of his nose he glances over at the neon face of his alarm clock. 3:57 AM. He sighs and clicks on the small lamp beside the glaring persecution of the clock. He grumbles something about insomnia to himself before standing up and stretching.

The legs of his octopus patterned pajama pants rub against each other as he walks to the kitchen of his small, almost cramped apartment. His hair sticks up wildly as it often does when he wakes up, curling in strange patterns and bouncing slightly with the rhythm of his half-asleep stumble. He hums a song to himself, a familiar tune whose name escapes him at the moment.

He stumbles through the kitchen and ends up making a pot of instant coffee and some toast. He retrieves his phone off the charger plugged in by the coffee machine, unlocking the screen and tapping in the passcode. Sitting at the folding table and chairs in the center of the room, thoughtfully hauled up by Sollux last month, he taps out a message to one of his closest friends.

"hey kar are you still awake"

He has enough time to retrieve his toast and coffee before his ringtone sounds.

"YEAH, WHY? ARE YOU SHIT DRUNK IN A GUTTER AGAIN? GODDAMMIT ERIDAN, IT'S TOO CLOSE TO FINALS FOR THIS SHIT. I CAN'T KEEP DRAGGING YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF THE DRUNK TANK, I HAVE IMPORTANT SHIT TO CRAM INTO MY SKULL."

Eridan attempts to ignore the drunk comments.

"i was just thinkin that itd be nice to talk to one of my best friends durin a spell of insomnia thats all"

"OH MAN, I'M SORRY FOR ASSUMING SHIT. THAT REALLY WASN'T COOL OF ME. "

"am i botherin you"

"DUDE, NO. HONESTLY A LITTLE REFUGE FROM STUDYING SEEMS LIKE A GODSEND RIGHT NOW."

"alright well what do you wanna talk about i guess"

"DID YOU SEE THAT NEW SALE ON STEAM? THEY'RE SELLING SOME SHITTY CO-OP GAME FOR, LIKE, A DOLLAR. WANNA PLAY IT WITH ME?"

"sure sounds cool"

\--

Sollux found Eridan passed out in his computer chair the next day, face down on his marmalade-slathered toast.


	2. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets some coffee.

The car ride was a mostly silent one, with a bit of joking on Sollux's part about Eridan's choice in radio stations. Sollux focused on the road, Eridan tapping away on his cellphone.

Sollux can tell Eridan's not feeling right as they walk into the coffeeshop and order their drinks.

Tall cappuccino, extra foam, Eridan's name written on the side of the cup in sloppy handwriting.

Grande cafe au lait, Sollux's name written on the side of the cup in the same lazy barista's handwriting as Eridan's.

They take a seat at a booth and wait for their friends (who agreed to meet them here), sipping on their coffees and chatting back and forth.

"So, come here often?" Sollux lisps, smirking at Eridan over his coffee. Eridan rolls his eyes and chuckles. "Not as much as you probably do, Mister I-stay-up-till-four-a.m.-coding-dumb-shit." "Pfft, at least I don't wake up with half a continental breakfast plastered to my face."

They both attempt to flirt further but both can tell neither of them are really into it, so they just sit and wait in silence, apart from Eridan's tapping at his phone and the occasional sip of coffee.

\--

Eventually the three they were waiting for file through the door. A lanky kid, tailed by two tall women.

"Hey," Karkat slides into the booth beside Sollux. "Sorry we were late. Traffic, that kinda shit." Eridan sets aside his phone and nods at him. Kanaya and the lady later identified as Rose stand at the counter and order coffees for themselves and Karkat. "So, how've you guys been?"

A meager 'fine' rises from both of their throats at the same time, their different voices syncing into a stilted harmony for half of a second.

The women sit with the other three, passing Karkat his coffee.

"Ugh Eridan, are you still wearing that awful sweater?" Kanaya snarks at the shortest one at the table, referring to his pastel coloured hoodie emblazoned with the logo of a shitty band. "Hey Kan, who's your piece of arm candy?" Eridan points at the Lalonde across from him.

"My name's Rose. Nice to meet you, Mr. Eridan," She says, "And who's this statuesque hunk?"

"Watch it Ellen Degeneres, that's my boyfriend." 

"Hey, quit being an asshole, asshole. Show some respect to the lady." Sollux extends a hand to the eponymous lady, who grasps his fingers and shakes lightly. "My name's Sollux. Pleasure to meet you."

"Trust me, the pleasure's all mine," She looks over at Eridan once again. "You might need to put a muzzle on your boyfriend, Mr. Sollux. He looks fiesty."

Karkat laughs and claps Eridan on the back, who is rapidly turning a dark shade of scarlet. "Yeah dickweed, quit being so jealous."

"I ain't bein jealous," Eridan says, his eyes turning toward Karkat, "She's just eyin' up my boyfriend!"

"Eridan, for one: she's a lesbian. For two: she's here with her goddamn girlfriend. Settle down, Fisty McEagerpunch."

As if to solidify what Karkat said, Rose puts an arm around her date, who gives a happy coo.

Eridan grumbles something about goddamned lesbians and sips his coffee.


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underage drinking is fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Alcohol
> 
> Jamie (my boyfriend <3) wrote Sollux's perspective for this chapter!

Eridan hunches over the bowl of the toilet, spilling bile from his mouth into the porcelain. 

He doesn't even know why he came to this party. 

Maybe it's because Sollux dragged him along.

Maybe it was because he thought he could lose the ache of his heart in the crowd of drunken teenagers.

Maybe it was the booze.

Eridan wipes his mouth with his sleeve and flushes the toilet. With that cleansing gesture he walks from the grimy tiled cathedral that is Gamzee Makara's bathroom and back into the fray of the party.

\--  
Sollux casually strides down the rather dimly-lighted hallway, a red plastic cup with alcoholic contents gripped in one hand, his head in the clouds. 

He thinks about the incident at Starbucks that had occurred earlier, his thoughts traipsing over the endless explanations. Maybe Eridan was just in a bad mood. 

As he ponders reasons, he mistakenly collides into a rather pretty beauteous girl with flowing ebony hair, knocking her down, and accidentally spilling his red all over her magenta-looking dress in the process. Oops. 

"Wow, sorry." he quickly stammers embarrassedly, his cheeks flushing crimson as he holds a hand out to pull her up. When she rises up, he manages to mutter a quick "I'll go get a paper towel or something, again, sorry, I wasn't really watching where I was goi-"

"It's fine!" the girl chirps cheerfully, beaming at him. "It's not a problem, accident's happen! It's all a part of life." 

"Oh, uh, okay." Sollux responds, now calm seeing that the girl isn't upset at all, really. "I'll be right back."

He traipses to the kitchen to fetch a roll of paper towels, and the walk, which is only about twenty feet, feels like a thousand miles. When he returns, he hands the roll to her, and she rips off a sheet, patting her fuchsia dress with it. "It probably won't stain," she says, a smile still on her face. 

Damn, Sollux thinks to himself. She's pretty hot. What the hell is her cup size, 38D?

"So, who are you?" she says to Sollux, an expression of what can only be described as pure curiosity on her face. "Me?" Sollux asks, jokingly looking around the hall as if it were currently occupying several people besides him and the girl. "Well, I'm Sollux, but who are you?" he lisps, raising a brow at her. 

She giggles. "Well, Mr. Wine-spiller, I am Feferi Peixes. Pleased to make your acquaintance.", the girl now identified as Feferi replies.

"Well, how about we take this conversation outside of the hallway?" Sollux inquires, and Feferi agrees. They both sit down in the living room, and chat amiably. 

It is then that Sollux Captor learns that Feferi Peixes is an aspiring marine biologist, but she also kinda-sorta wants to be a veterinarian, but she only likes the cute animals, and she doesn't want to have to hurt any animals at all! And it is at the same moment that Feferi Peixes learns that Sollux Captor is a programmer, hacker, and Minecraft expert. 

About an hour into their conversation, Feferi's phone sounds, notifying her that she has recieved a text message. "Well, my ride home will be here any minute now," she says. "But before I go, let me get your number!" 

Sollux tells her his cellphone number, and she saves it into her contacts. "One last thing," she adds. "Are you single?"

Sollux is momentarily petrified. His thoughts immediately go to Eridan, his boyfriend of, what, going on a year and a half now, Unsure of what to say, seconds pass, though in his mind they feel like hours. "Yes," he mutters without thinking. "Yes, I'm single."

"Great!" She grins at him, a smile that goes from ear-to-ear. "Maybe we could catch a movie sometime!"

She walks to the door, Sollux following her. "See you soon," she whispers eagerly, planting a kiss on his cheek, and bounds out to the driveway, jumps into a car, and waves goodbye to Sollux excitedly as the car pulls out of the driveway. 

Well, fuck, Sollux thinks to himself.  
\--

"Hey, my main indie motherfucker!"

The sudden rasp of Gamzee's voice shakes Eridan from his drunken stupor.

"Oh, uh, hey Gam." Eridan slurs, his amalgamation of hastily imbibed alcohol sloshing around in his 19-year-old stomach.

"How you doin', man?"

"Drunk. Wait, I mean good. Pretty good. Yeah."

"Why you all up and skitterin' around like a bug then, my nigga? Somethin' upsettin' ya'll?"

"First of all, Gam, you're white. Stop sayin' that word, you're gonna piss someone off. Secondly, I'm just tryna' get drunk without talkin' to anyone. Is that that so fuckin' wrong?" 

"Man, what's the use of a party then? Why don't ya'll just go and drink alone?"

Eridan thinks for a moment.

"I don't know. Somethin' keepin' me tethered to these social interactions, I guess."


	4. Growing apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Smut and references to self harm
> 
> Jamie wrote the end!!! <3 ^3^

The night started out as most others do, with Sollux propositioning Eridan to go out and get dinner together. Ususally Eridan declines, saying that he feels sick or that he doesn't have enough money to chip in for the bill. But tonight he accepted. He doesn't know why. Maybe it's because he felt lonely enough to take company from anyone. 

He didn't know that the night would end in him getting pinned to Sollux's shitty economy matress with the bee patterned sheets by the taller's unusually strong arms.

Sollux was a selfish lover. Unneccesary roughness was common in their 'sessions', soreness in the morning sick punctuation to the night before.

"Agh, Sol!"

And Eridan found himself pinned under Sollux, completely naked. 

Sollux's pillow smells like smoke and honey. 

The bed squeaks on its posts and Sollux moans as he rocks his hips against Eridan.

Eridan squeaks in response to the post as Sollux grabs a handful of his hair.

"Say my name."

His breath is hot in his ear, his breath smelling of the same mixture of honey and smoke in the pillow.

"S...Sollux."

"Again."

As if egged on by Eridan's voice, he thrusts faster, the one hand without Eridan's head in it digging into his hips.

"Sollux!"

"Louder, you little slut!"

"SOLLUX!"

\--

Eridan sighs and reaches his hand out to the nightstand beside him, fumbling for his glasses. As he sits up in his lover's bed, he briefly looks over to Sollux, and instead of his heart racing at the sight of him, he feels… nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

"Maybe our relationship ain't working out anymore. Maybe Sol's tired of me," Eridan thinks to himself. "Maybe I'm tired of him." 

As he lugs himself out of the lemon-yellow and black striped bedding, he can feel his thoughts about their relationship growing more and more ponderous on his emotions. 

He walks to his tiny room, with pale violet walls and several posters advertising concerts for various bands, and opens his closet. He grabs a pair of simple black skinny jeans, a black t shirt with some indie band's logo on it, and a pair of checker-patterned Vans, and puts them on, and strides over to his vanity, opening a small music box which he hides his rings (along with a few other items of jewelry), and hastily puts on a few hemp-woven bracelets as to cover the pale scars that criss-cross each other on his arms. 

He then lumbered over to the small kitchen and began his usual morning routine: setting a bit of water to boil for instant coffee, stuffing a piece of bread into the toaster, retrieving his phone from the counter where it usually resides and texting Karkat, dumping a spoon of instant coffee mix into the steaming water, nearly forgetting to get the toast from the toaster, and ending up trying to pry the charred piece of bread out of the over-glorified hunk of metal. 

He pulled his phone out to respond to Karkat's text, but his wallpaper caught his eye- a picture of him and Sollux when they first started dating, smiles on their faces, they both looked happy- a sharp contrast from their current situation. 

Oh, how dearly he wished they could be like that again.


End file.
